Monday, 27 June 2011

First Vison of Cynicism

Today is the grand launch of my blog dedicated to horoscope analysis. TARDARRRRR!! I hope to be the envy of mystic meg this time next year...I already have a fringe, and my mom has black hair, so we're practically all the same person in our visions of the future. Although, I am really aiming to scruntizie the powers destiny associated with the solar system- I don't wish to gaze into a crystal ball and predict my future. Therefore, I want to be mystic meg's enemy, the chalk to her cheese in some form of fashion.

Yesterday I read my horoscope, for the week commencing 19/06/2011. As I previously stated, I am regarding these readings in a retrospective manner, in order to confirm/deny any sense truth that they may possess.

This is what was written under the Lion-ROAR.

The sun enters the most sensitive area of your chart this week, so don't be suprised if your get-up and-go gets up and walks out of the door. This is, however, an important time of year for you because what you decide in the days ahead will form the basis of your reality for the next 12 months. It's a time or thinking not doing.

The notion I am physically unable to "get up and go" right now, due to a broken ankle, suggests this entry seems highly accurate, demonstrating that horoscopes predict our future. Job done. No more effort needed for this week-got off to a good start...I am being sarcastic by the by, just incase someone thought I was as naive as a child in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. The quote which I quoted,  demonstrates  the flexibility of horoscopes, and how one can mould their personal experiences to fit a little bit of writing ,due to the notion some of us are crazy enough to believe in the magical essence of destiny.

In regards to the fact that my current decisions are going to base my reality for the next 12 months, could potentially be something to do with this blog... I will post each blog on "Twitter" and everyone in the world will read my entries, then a film will be made out of my blogs, then I will become famous and meet the Queen because of my blogs, take over the world and eat a slug. Okay, so none of that will really happen...apart from the slug part. Hmmm... In "reality" we all day dream and try and set targets for the "next 12 months", it stops everyday life from being boring. I cannot really think of anything which happened last week that heavily inspired me to face reality for the up and coming year...I got accepted to help volunteer at a gallery, maybe that will promote future gallery prospects? Although, previous gallery experience helped me acheive that position, allowing a snowball of experience to develop...I am already a sceptic.  

It's a time for thinking, not doing. I am an individual, who is a student, with a broken ankle. Somebody might want to connect the dots with this one (I haven't been able to do anything, or anyone...). It's so reasurring that this entry has been able to consolidate and comfort me during my current disabilty, really pushing me to think to the limit, so that I aspire to transform into an emo. Afterall, I have been thinking about being an emo for quite some time, maybe this week I will become an emo. I feel like I should marry this entry, it knows me so well... Again, we all think, it is impossible not to think. You should try not to think, it is impossible not to think. It is impossible not to think. It's harder to do, then it is to think. Thanks horoscope for being so encouraging!!

The quote It's a time for thinking, not doing is only a tiny bit vauge. It doesn't consider to explain exactly what us Lions were aiming to "do" last we. Were we thinking about doing housework? Were we thinking about doing some bangtidy person? Or were we just thinking about stuff which we were not supposed to do , because the solar system says the time wasn't right?? It would be nice if the horoscope could have been a gentlemen and specifically informed me about what these thoughts entailed, as those thoughts probably enter my head on a daily basis. In hindsight, I was thinking about cleaning the flat last week, and I did clean it today. Therefore, maybe I have simply regarded that quote as evidence which justifies my laziness.

To sum up, this week I haven't really been able to cuddle my horoscope entry. We haven't really made a connection ,in order to prove my destiny, yet. It was a bit vague, it didn't really tell me much, and seemed quite mysterious. I'm hoping next week it'll be more generous, so I can start trusting it's ambitions for me!

Saturday, 25 June 2011

Mr Blobby is a bad Superhero.

I feel like I have never  been truly able to complete a project, or consistently dedicate myself to a hobby since primary school, cue "these are my confessions" by Usher. When i was a child (not running through the night) I quit every extra curricular activity by the age of  9 , according to my parents, which seemingly stimulated my interests. Dancing was too repetitive, Art lessons were too structured, Netball was too competitive and Keyboard lessons appeared too controlled. I would love to be a big fat liar and pretend that by the age of 20 I have finally been able to dedicate my time to something , like a degree, and complete it.

Hmmm, maybe not.

It has recently dawned upon me that I should be graduating this year, however after dropping out of uni after completing half  of a psychology degree I am at the end of my second attempt at freshers...again. Oh no, wait!! Sorry I can actually lie. I haven't even finished  first year yet, which makes me wonder if I was supposed to complete my first degree. This has really got me questioning fate. So, I suppose I'll be rolling with  the freshers a little bit more than Tinie Tempah... Tinie Tempah eat your heart out.

Let me tell you a story, which might piece together my very deep mindset *cough* *cough*.

I went home to revise during the exam period, as I know I have no will power, and if somebody says "YO! Wanna party like it's 1999?", I will say "Sure, let's call up some hoes and go WILD!!". Annnd I didn't really want to fail my second attempt at finishing a degree. (Now back to the good part.) On the eve of  1st June 2011, I was feeling rather positive, the sun was in my head beaming thoughts of joy and jizz, as my final exam of first year was the following day.Although, sadly my brain wasn't internally booming out "the sun has got it's hat on". What was the reason for this ecstacy? Excessive amounts of viagra...Or the fact my exams were finished on June 1st. I was so so so so very excited that I decided to clean the kitchen - insane ,right? You'll have to hold me back. I'm Wild.  The antics of Lindsay Lohan have nothing on me!! I decided to empty the bin, alongside my adventures of cleaning the kitchen, and skipped lovingly to the BIG BIN, which resides outside. On my journey to the BIG BIN, I felt my ankle go a little wobbly. It went a little more wobbly...a little more wobbly...It went so wibbly wobbly that it went CRACK. And I was left outside lying on the ground fearing a complementary attack from vultures. Who would save me?!

After shouting "DAAAAAD", "DAAAAAAD", "DAAAAAAD", for 5 minutes, Mr blobby finally came to the rescue. However, I was so terrified I would bounce of his blobbyness and fall over and destroy my ankle a little more, I transformed into a kangaroo and hopped into the house. Once inside, I placed my buns on a cushiony surface and stared at the potato which had engulfed my ankle. I knew it was broken. I sat down for about an hour, in denial, thinking, "I have an exam tomorrow, I have an exam tomorrow, I have an exam tomorrow".  Eventually, I stood up. OH THE PAIN!! My ankle felt as though some devil creature was plucking each bone out of my foot. It was time to go to the hospital, at approximately 11.00pm.

To cut a long story short...(I know, I know, this story hasn't been long enough yet) Mr Blobby and I discovered my ankle was broken  ,at 3.00am in the morning. Then, we were informed that I had another appointment at 11.30 am  ,on the same day, which was delayed, which meant I couldn't take my exam at 2.00pm, which meant I couldn't finish first year, which meant...I couldn't finish first year!!

I digress.

What was the point of all that wank??

The whole point of that wonderfully complicated story, is that I wish  to use it as a base that has questioned my opinions towards the notion of fate and destiny.  I have not been able to finish first year, which has made me question if i was supposed to complete the psych degree, alongside my abilities to ever complete a task. My mixed emotions towards fate and destiny have inspired me to try stick to  a "hobby", which doesn't involve running, knitting or studying grave stones...I know someone who does that.

I have decided that I will execute a blog once a week. Every sunday for the next year, I will write a horoscope based  blog. I want to determine if whatever is written under the Lion's status ,in the same weekly magazine which accompanies my dad's favourite sunday paper, actually occurs,  or if I simply mould my life to the account of the Leo. In order to prevent bias , I am going to read  my horoscope a week later to prevent myself from bending the horoscope to fit my life. The Temptation will be imense.

I feel this is a bit of a psychological experiment. Could it be a sign I was actually supposed to finish my psychy degree and become the female Darren Brown??

Probs not.