Saturday, 25 June 2011

Mr Blobby is a bad Superhero.

I feel like I have never  been truly able to complete a project, or consistently dedicate myself to a hobby since primary school, cue "these are my confessions" by Usher. When i was a child (not running through the night) I quit every extra curricular activity by the age of  9 , according to my parents, which seemingly stimulated my interests. Dancing was too repetitive, Art lessons were too structured, Netball was too competitive and Keyboard lessons appeared too controlled. I would love to be a big fat liar and pretend that by the age of 20 I have finally been able to dedicate my time to something , like a degree, and complete it.

Hmmm, maybe not.

It has recently dawned upon me that I should be graduating this year, however after dropping out of uni after completing half  of a psychology degree I am at the end of my second attempt at freshers...again. Oh no, wait!! Sorry I can actually lie. I haven't even finished  first year yet, which makes me wonder if I was supposed to complete my first degree. This has really got me questioning fate. So, I suppose I'll be rolling with  the freshers a little bit more than Tinie Tempah... Tinie Tempah eat your heart out.

Let me tell you a story, which might piece together my very deep mindset *cough* *cough*.

I went home to revise during the exam period, as I know I have no will power, and if somebody says "YO! Wanna party like it's 1999?", I will say "Sure, let's call up some hoes and go WILD!!". Annnd I didn't really want to fail my second attempt at finishing a degree. (Now back to the good part.) On the eve of  1st June 2011, I was feeling rather positive, the sun was in my head beaming thoughts of joy and jizz, as my final exam of first year was the following day.Although, sadly my brain wasn't internally booming out "the sun has got it's hat on". What was the reason for this ecstacy? Excessive amounts of viagra...Or the fact my exams were finished on June 1st. I was so so so so very excited that I decided to clean the kitchen - insane ,right? You'll have to hold me back. I'm Wild.  The antics of Lindsay Lohan have nothing on me!! I decided to empty the bin, alongside my adventures of cleaning the kitchen, and skipped lovingly to the BIG BIN, which resides outside. On my journey to the BIG BIN, I felt my ankle go a little wobbly. It went a little more wobbly...a little more wobbly...It went so wibbly wobbly that it went CRACK. And I was left outside lying on the ground fearing a complementary attack from vultures. Who would save me?!

After shouting "DAAAAAD", "DAAAAAAD", "DAAAAAAD", for 5 minutes, Mr blobby finally came to the rescue. However, I was so terrified I would bounce of his blobbyness and fall over and destroy my ankle a little more, I transformed into a kangaroo and hopped into the house. Once inside, I placed my buns on a cushiony surface and stared at the potato which had engulfed my ankle. I knew it was broken. I sat down for about an hour, in denial, thinking, "I have an exam tomorrow, I have an exam tomorrow, I have an exam tomorrow".  Eventually, I stood up. OH THE PAIN!! My ankle felt as though some devil creature was plucking each bone out of my foot. It was time to go to the hospital, at approximately 11.00pm.

To cut a long story short...(I know, I know, this story hasn't been long enough yet) Mr Blobby and I discovered my ankle was broken  ,at 3.00am in the morning. Then, we were informed that I had another appointment at 11.30 am  ,on the same day, which was delayed, which meant I couldn't take my exam at 2.00pm, which meant I couldn't finish first year, which meant...I couldn't finish first year!!

I digress.

What was the point of all that wank??

The whole point of that wonderfully complicated story, is that I wish  to use it as a base that has questioned my opinions towards the notion of fate and destiny.  I have not been able to finish first year, which has made me question if i was supposed to complete the psych degree, alongside my abilities to ever complete a task. My mixed emotions towards fate and destiny have inspired me to try stick to  a "hobby", which doesn't involve running, knitting or studying grave stones...I know someone who does that.

I have decided that I will execute a blog once a week. Every sunday for the next year, I will write a horoscope based  blog. I want to determine if whatever is written under the Lion's status ,in the same weekly magazine which accompanies my dad's favourite sunday paper, actually occurs,  or if I simply mould my life to the account of the Leo. In order to prevent bias , I am going to read  my horoscope a week later to prevent myself from bending the horoscope to fit my life. The Temptation will be imense.

I feel this is a bit of a psychological experiment. Could it be a sign I was actually supposed to finish my psychy degree and become the female Darren Brown??

Probs not.

1 comment:

  1. The world is greatly in need of another Darren Brown. I once had a driving teacher of the same name. I wonder if it was actually him as I passed my test first time. Sppoookay...