Wednesday 31 August 2011

My horoscope promotes bragging as the ingredient to success.

I am quickly catching up and reminiscing with my horoscope, on the previous weeks, in order to make connections with what has been predicted.  This week my horoscope has been extremely flexible. It is usually very flexible, yet this week it is more flexible than the previous weeks ,in which it has promoted its flexbibilty. Now that is flexible! Normally I am angered by its allusive manner. However, this week it has allowed me to mould my life to the generalised account of the lion and become the naive believer of the horoscope.

14/08/2011
There is no need to be secretive about your aims. On the contrary, the more you advertise them at the moment, the greater your chances of success. This week's triple conjunction in your birth sign between the Sun, your rule, Mercury, planet of the mind, and Venus, planet of the heart, means that the more people know what you are up to, the more likely it is you will get the support that you need- be it personal, professional or even financial. With your head and your heart working together, you will know what you want to do with your life, and you will also have the energy and amibition necessary to achieve it. And as it would seem that you can do no wrong at the moment, you can be as adventurous as you like. You don't have to go to ridiciulous extremes, but you do have to set a more enegetic pace.

Now I don't know if it's my dirty mind, or the sexual frustration which the horoscope lady possesses, but it seems to me that there are undertones that it is okay for a Leo to become a prostitute, in this week's account  .  I shall elaborate...There is no need to be secretive about your aims. This suggests that the Leo should expressively induldge in their desires. They should be free, liberated and open to opinions. What is this source of  liberation and freedom? Prostituition. Obviously I am talking about the high escourt type here- alla Belle de Whore.

There is further evidence that this week's entry is promoting the occupation ,as the conflicts of the rule (Sun) mind (Mercury)and heart (Venus) confuse the loving leo gigilo, as one debates the loving relationship they possess with their client. And of course one should openly express their desires to become a worker of the night as they need  all the  personal, professional or even financial support they can find!

STOP THE PRESS.

Incase you haven't realised by now I am being very sarcastic in the above. I am not being weird and actually suggesting that my horoscope would promote such a career...I am simply demonstrating how applicable horoscopes are and I apologise if the above offended any of you non-existent readers. Maybe I can now determine if  I even have any readers-through such shocking words. Do I have any readers? Speak now or forever hold your peace. I can take you on a date, if you do exsist,  presuming I only have male readers...

So now I am going to very quickly apply my life to the horoscope. During this week ( the week of the horoscope entry published in this blog) I was revising for my supplementary exam-as I did not take it during the examination season as I broke my ankle the day of the exam. Therefore, during this week, I was not secretive about my frustration towards the exam which I was supposed to take three months sooner. Apparantly, the advertisement of my revision is supposed to grant me success. I am expecting a first now, as I have further promoted the fact I was revising through my blog! If ever there was a time that I would like my horoscope to be accurate, then it would be now-thankyouplease.

...the more people know what you are up to, the more likely it is that you will get the support that you need. Sadly, nobody offered to revise for me during this week. I would have been very grateful if somebody would have revised and sat the exam for me. At the very least, someone could have absorbed my revision notes into a sponge and put them in my head-ready for the exam. But no-this did not happen. Selfish wankers. I should have maybe lied about personal issues, which prevented me from taking the exam once more. I could have spoken to the professional ,who is my tutor and begged, them to take it for me. I would have  finacially bribed the examination marker -if I knew who they were. However, the time has passed now, and I cannot help but feel that the information which my horoscope has provided me with has all been recieved a little too late. I wish my horoscope would inform me to tune into my horoscope sooner for the commencing week, in order to obtain advice which is always highly original and inspiring.

Suddenly, during revision week and according to my blog, I will know what I want to do with my life and can achieve it. I can tell you that I only wanted my exam to be done with during this week's account, and hadn't even thought beyond the examination day. In spite of this, I would like to thank my horoscope for subconsciously enabling me to realise my future amibitions, and that I can fufill them,even if I do not know what they are yet. However, my friend came back from India during this week and had a psychic reading done for me, and it read that I would achieve my life amibitions in fifteen years time. So it looks like I will achieve my life goals within a decent amount of years-shame I still do not know what those goals are just yeat though- as I like to keep my aims a little bit more short term. For example, clean the house, go to the supermarket, write my blog, go to uni, see my friends, go the shops, shop, brush my teeth, have a wee, "go out, have a fag, feel alright"....

I could apparantly be adventurous as I liked during this week, in regards to my revision. Why didn't I think to scuba dive and learn my lectures during this week? Silly me! Oh-but then I am reassured that I did not have to go to ridicilous extremes, but I needed to set a more energetic pace. Hopefully a slothpace will suffice as energetic, seeing as revision is a pretty stationary activity. See if  I was actually a prostitute then I would have benefited from this week's entry-being expermintal with different clients, but not pushing it to the point that I contracted an excessive amount of veneral diseases. I guess I should have just been a prostitute during this week afterall, atleast then my horoscope would have been more flexible, and therefore more satisfying then I had originally intended. (Spot the very subtle pun/innuendo).

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