Hello to all my avid fans out there !!If I actually have any fans out there, I might have to create my own fan page for a little extra publicity.I know you have missed me. Again, I am most likely just talking to a vaccum in cyberspace, a vaccum which wants to eliminate my blog. Alas, after being busy sorting out celebrations for celebrating popping out of my mothers fufu for the 21st time, I return to my blog.
It feels as though I have been busy doing nothing for the past two weeks. It must be because I have been very busy with my new boyfriend, or should I say imaginary boyfriend? He has prevented me from regarding five sentences that predict my life for the week ahead. Stupid imaginary boyfriend!! I am pulling your leg by the way, I just wanted to pretend I was one of those girls who blames everything on their boyfriend, and considering I am single I had to create a pretend boyfriend for a few moments in order to forge some lame excuse. Despite being a bit weird, I am not that weird!
I need to catch up on two horoscope entries in two days, as I need to execute the most recent anaylsis this weekend ,since I am buggering off to Edinburgh for a bit next week. The stress of writing two blog entries in two days is crucifying me, I just do not know how I will do it. I am so stressed! How will I do it? Oh yeah, I've started one of them now. Thankfully, I deal with stress exceptionally well. I have the abilities to birth a baby elephant and complete an exam in karate ,whilst smoking a kebab, so this blog dilemma is a breeze...
My horoscope entry for the week commencing 17/07/2011 oozed an exceptional amount of positivity. It wasn't particulary predictive, nonetheless it had an attitude which injected me with the attitude of "YOU GO GIRLFRIEND". Therefore, I am going to embrace this week's entry. It made me feel reasurred in life, as I was becoming such a broken indiviudal due to stresses involving what to have for dinner.
As one cylce ends so another begins, and with the sun your ruler, moving into your birth sign next Saturday, this would be a good week to relinquish your hold on things you no longer have use for. The more you dispense with now, the more space you will have for something better in the weeks ahead. What other people think, say or do is of no importance-only one person's opionions matter and that person is you. What you do- or don't do- over the subsequent four weeks will set the tone for the rest of the year, so make sure they are as good as they can be. The best way to end your solar year is to look back on the things you have done over the past 12 months. What matters most in life is not that you win the game or make a million pounds but that you learn about yourself. So, what have you learned?
On first impressions, this horoscope entry seems very eager for me to commit my time to household chores. It hints at me that I should wash my clothes, tumble dry them, and then put another load of washing in...As one cylce ends so another begins. I have been doing two loads of washing within an hour recently, it's so clever how my horoscope predicted that I would become domestic Goddess. I cleared out the fridge and kitchen cupboards the other week, The more you dispense with now, the more space you will have for something better in the weeks ahead, maybe this suggests that the mouldy apples in the fruitbowl will be replaces with pomegranates soon enough. I tell you something readers...I cannot wait to have pomegranates in my fruit bowl! How exciting!!
OH MY GOD! I just had an ephinany. I think the horoscope entry for this week has just revealed my secret identity... I am the Goddess Persephone!!There are clues. It encourages me to be a domestic Goddess, and put Pomegranates in my fruitbowl...Do you see where I am coming from?? I am coming from a saratirical viewpoint, that you can apply anything to a horoscope and make your monotonous life fit a few vague sentences. Sorry, I just wanted to prove how my horoscope is still remaining very secretive. I want facts and figures. Will I meet Hulk Hogan at 2.13pm on a Wednesday next week, whilst at the cinema? You cannot? I will not put my faith into my horoscope until incidents similar to this are predicted and experienced.
What other people think, say or do is of no importance-only one person's opionions matter and that person is you. So, if one of my friends says that they are deeply depressed, I am supposed to reply ,"Go away, I do not care about you, as I am very important."? In all seriousness, I understand that is not what is implicated here, I have done something which fits this statement recently involving my my own interests. Yet, I am not going to write it in this in my blog as I do not wish to jynx it. How ironic?! The only time my horoscope seems accurate, and I cannot express what has occured.
What you do- or don't do- over the subsequent four weeks will set the tone for the rest of the year, so make sure they are as good as they can be. Considering, it has only been two weeks since this entry was published, I cannot yet determine if what will set the tone for the rest of the year has occured. On the other hand, it may involve what I cannot speak about. It's like I am too afraid to mention the name VOLDERMORT or something. Even that was less scary, then jynxing my future life plans. The threat of mentioning the name of the scary mythical wizard Voldermort ,I mean real, feels less worring then what I cannot name! Don't worry readers, I haven't killed anyone or done anything illegal. Well not that I know of...
The best way to end your solar year is to look back on the things you have done over the past 12 months. I did have to do this a few weeks back, in order to get back the tax that I over paid from my last job, so this is rather accurate. Although, fundamentally all stories consist of nostalgia, as they are based in the past. Therefore, I/ we always look back over the past 12 months, especially when we have birthdays coming up. Horoscope- you are so intelligent for determining that I had a birthday coming up in late July, considering you are a horoscope sign which is associated with birthdays located between 24 July-23 August.
What matters most in life is not that you win the game or make a million pounds but that you learn about yourself. So, what have you learned? Thanks, thanks a lot! I am presuming that this means that I will always be a loser, and will never have an excessive amount of money in life. However, my life is okay as I know who I am. Horoscope- you need to hold yourself back on the cliches. You really know how to make a girl feel special. Anyway, what have I learned? That I am sexy and indepedent like Ciara, and my goodies stay in the jar. Additionally, I am able to deal with the pressure of writing two blogs in two days. If I have time to write my other blog tomorrow...